Video: consent and communication

1. Watch the video: Consent and communication (2 min 09 sec) in entirety.

2.  Ask students:

❓ What did the animals in the video do when they didn't want to be touched?

Puffed up, moved away, rolled up in ball, spikes.

T chart - no consent

3. Draw a T chart on the board with the left column titled 'No to touch'.

4. Watch the video again, pausing at relevant points to answer the following question.

5. Ask:

❓ What did the humans do to show they did not want to be touched?

Arms down, grumpy face, crossed arms, shake head, sad face, say 'no', shocked face.

6. Under the left column of the T-chart, list the examples from the video.

No to touch	(leave blank)
arms down
grumpy face
crossed arms
shakes head
sad face
says 'no'
shocked face

T chart - consent

7.  Ask:

❓ What does the word 'consent' mean? (Hint: think about the consent forms we use for excursions)

Agreeing to do something, giving permission, letting someone do something, saying 'yes'.

8. Write the word 'consent' in the right hand column of the T chart.

9.  Ask:

❓ What did the humans do in the video to show they gave consent to being touched?

Said 'yes', hugged back, moved forward towards them, oped arms, smiled and looked happy.

10. Add an additional title on left column of the T chart that says 'No consent'. Label the right hand column as 'Consent'. List the students answers in the right hand column

No Consent No to touch	Consent
arms down	said 'yes'
grumpy face	hugged back
crossed arms	moved towards them
shakes head	happy face
sad face	opens arms
says 'no'	smiles
shocked face

 

 

11.  Explain:

Looking at someone's body language can help you to see if they are OK with you touching them. For example, a smile or looking happy.

But these things alone don't mean they consent to you touching them.

The only way you can know for sure is to ask them and get a 'yes' in return.  

CUPS - rules of consent

12. Write the acronym CUPS on the board (vertically). Add each of the words 'change mind', 'understand', 'pressure is not OK', 'sure' as you explain the following.

13.  Explain:

There are some important rules about consent. The word 'CUPS' can help us remember these rules.

Change mind - you are allowed to change your mind at any time. E.g. If you say, 'yes' to a hug and then you don't want to, that is OK. The person is no longer allowed to hug you. And, if you have said, 'yes' to a hug before, it does not mean it is OK for that person to hug you every time they see you. They have to ask each time.

Understand - you have to understand what you are agreeing to. E.g. If a person asks you for a hug and then they try to give you a kiss, this is not OK and is not consent.

Pressure is not OK - if someone is pressuring you, this is not OK and not consent. E.g. If you don't give me a hug, I won't be your friend any more. 

Sure - if you are not sure if you want to be touched, the person is not allowed to touch you. E.g. If someone asks you for a hug and you shrug your shoulders and say, 'maybe', this is not consent and the person is not allowed to give you a hug until they are sure you are OK with it. 

Thumb up, thumbs down - is it consent?

14. Using hand puppets or another adult, act out the following scenes and have students give a 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' to indicate if it is 'consent' or 'not consent'. 

Scenario 1 (C - changes mind)

Character 1: Hi Jay, I've missed you. Can I give you a hug?

Character 2: (arms open, smiling) YES! I'd love a hug, I've missed you too!

Character 1: (runs up very fast to character 1)

Character 2: (steps backwards, looks worried and puts hand up to stop character 1)

Character 1: (forcibly hugs character 2)

Not consent - character one changed their mind and their body language showed this.

 

Scenario 2 (U- understands what they are agreeing to) 

Character 1: Hi Jay, I've missed you. Can I give you a hug?

Character 2: (arms open, smiling) YES! I'd love a hug, I've missed you too!

Character 1: (gives character 2 a warm hug and then kisses them on the cheek).

Not consent - they consented to a hug but not a kiss.

 

Scenario 3 (P - pressure)

Grandma: Oh how you have grown! I haven't seen you for so long. Come give grandma a kiss! (puckers lips)

Grandchild: No thank you grandma.

Grandma: Oh dear, I won't be giving you the present I brought you then!

Grandchild: (looking sad and unsure) Uhhhh, ummmm, OK.

Grandma: (kisses granddaughter).

Not consent - Grandma pressured the grandchild.

 

Scenario 4 (S - sure)

Grandma: Oh how you have grown! I haven't seen you for so long. Come give grandma a kiss! (puckers lips)

Grandchild: No thank you grandma but I would love a big hug!

Grandma: Wonderful, I love your hugs! (Gives grandchild a big hug)

Consent - clear and specific.

Trusted adults

15.  Explain:

If someone touches you without consent, you are not to blame.

Tell them to stop and tell a trusted adult for help.

16. Revise the trusted adult 'helping hand' by asking students to think of 5 adults (one for each finger) that they can go to for help if they need it.

 Teaching tip: It is important not to tell the students who their 5 adults are as they will be different for each student. 

17. Display the Kidshelpline number (1800 55 1800) in your classroom and remind students that this can be on of the 5 trusted adults they can seek help from. 

Take home activity

Ask students to talk to talk to each of the people on their 'helping hand' and tell them that they are one of their trusted adults that they would like to talk to if ever they need help.

Health promoting schools strategy

Partnerships - parents

• Share the Talk soon. Talk often: Keeping children safe section on parent newsletters.

• Offer Protective behaviours workshops for parents - See Agencies.