Online behaviour and safety

Online behaviour and safety

Kids' online activities change as they get older, and the proportion of children identifying things that bother them online rises quickly between the ages of 9 to 13 years.

• Children and teenagers will look up information about growing up, sexual development and/or sex.
• Teenagers want to belong and connect with friends - social media is central to their cultures.
• They will want to follow celebrities or influencers accounts who they, or their friends, think are cool.
• They may have close calls with 'creeps' who try to make contact with them, but most of their contacts and challenges will be with local friends.

Research shows

A recent international survey involving 10,000 children aged 9 to 16 years asked,

What bothers you online?⁴

My child is seeing things online which do not align with my values 

We can only limit what our child sees online, we cannot control everything they see. Despite parental controls, your child may still see content which is encouraging ideas or values you do not agree with. Some young people are exposed to harmful ideas of how men and women should act. particularly when it comes to relationships. Some ideas young people might be exposed are: 

• Men should be muscular, take charge and make decisions (in life and in relationships with women), be aggressive, want sex and shouldn't listen to what women have to say.
• Women should look appealing to men, be submissive and listen to what men have to say, don't tell men what to do, women should be housewives, women are manipulative and only want men for money. 

This can be tough to combat. If you hear your child make a comment similar to the above, or you see them watching/reading content online which promote this, here are some questions you may want to ask your child: 

• How does that type of content make you feel?
• Do you think that what they are saying is true?
• Why do you think people post this kind of stuff online?
• If a relationship, or friendship, is actually like that (one person in charge and dominant and the other submissive and can't make decisions) does that sound respectful? Do you think both people feel safe, respected and can be themselves?
• Are those statements true about women? Are those statements fair to women?
• Are those statements true about men? Are they those statements fair to men?
• Is the kind of relationship you want to be in? Is that the kind of partner you would want? Is that the kind of partner you want to be?
• What are some important traits in a good partner (despite gender)? What are some important traits in a relationship?
• What are some examples of relationships you know that do not look like that? Are they happy? 

Social media delay for under 16-year-olds 

The delay came into effect in December 2025, which limits children under the age of 16 the ability to make accounts on a range of different social media platforms. 

While this does prevent young people from seeing and experiencing negative things online, they are not fully protected. 

They may still be able to access some websites without an account, and therefore can still see what is being posted and comments and so they can still be exposed to harmful messages. 

What you can do to help

• Start the conversation about respectful behaviour online early. Before they get their own device and before they are allowed to make social media accounts.
• Build your child’s empathy by asking how they think they would feel if an embarrassing photo (pic) of them was posted, or a nasty comment made. Ask them how it would feel to see people online saying bad things about a group of people.
• Build your child's ability to critique information online to determine if the information is reliable. Show them where they should be going for reliable information about health and relationships.
• Explain that anyone can post anything on social media, and that does not make it true, or that people's personal perspective or experience cannot be attributed to everyone.
• Discuss what the job of a social media influencer is: they make money from engagement with content. That doesn't mean they post stuff which is true, they post stuff so people read, comment or like the post.
• Teach kids to say kind (rather than unkind) things online.
• Discuss with them how being the subject of harassment and bullying is not the victim’s fault.
• Ask how they stay safe online.
• Make sure your child knows not to give personal details online (even a photo in school uniform can give away their location).
• Ask if they know where to go for help and where to find safety advice.
• Show them how to use privacy settings and how to use the report or block functions on services they use.
• Help them bookmark the good stuff and block the bad stuff online.
• Tell them what is OK and not OK to share.
• Discuss with them how no photos or videos can be taken of someone else and posted online without that person’s consent.
• Tell them not to use their phones to take photos or videos of other people in private spaces such as bathrooms and changing rooms.
• If your child tells you they have seen porn or violence on-screen – remain calm. Praise them for telling you about it. If you explode and ban all access they won’t tell you next time.
• Visit esafety.gov.au for lots of parent-friendly resources and advice on Internet safety.

Kids' rules for online communication